The Scientific Dog Owner

As it comes to our rearing of Gus the Schnauzer, I would like to think of myself as one of those 18th-century naturalists who traveled the world observing and collecting various animal specimens. Do you remember that doctor in the Master & Commander movie with Russel Crowe? Like that guy. Overall, I haven’t been too successful. For instance, I occasionally find myself furious at his housebreaking failures. This is relatively rare for me – I haven’t been this angry with any creature since the days when I used to chunk the basketball at my brother’s head for “cheating” (i.e. beating me) during our epic battles on the driveway. On the flip side, sometimes I give in to being smitten with his cuteness.

But in pursuit of science I keep a mental log of his toilet habits, and I occasionally (and futilely) try to persuade Lindsay not to refer to herself as a “mommy” and me as “daddy” when addressing the dog. Presently, I’m planning to put pen to paper and make a written training schedule: Leash work in the morning, “Off” and “Mine” at lunch time, and “Sit,” “Stay” and “Down,” in the evening. Up to this point, we have haphazardly oscillated between a variety of exercises. I will say that he sits with some reliability, and he is learning to politely wait for his dinner.

My only semi-success in my naturalistic endeavor has come from his weekly photo of record. This is my attempt to mark his growth by way of a sort of mug shot. As you can see below , this is harder than it sounds.

We tried a variety of methods. But this is the best we got for his Week 11 Photo of Record.

You may not be able to tell from the photo, but the top of his back he is measuring just a little under 9 inches tall. The vet weighed him in at 5 lbs 15 oz.

The next week I concocted a different setup. I think he grew somewhere in the neighborhood of .25 to 0.5 inches. Here is what week 12 looks like:

You will all be excited to know that you can expect more of these photos as we record the growth of Gus, the Schnauzer. Tomorrow I will try weighing him and measuring him again (he was born on a Sunday). Once he learns the “Stand” command, perhaps the photos will look a little better. I also hope to buy one of those flexible tape measures the tailor uses so that I can more accurately measure his girth and length. I think the cause of science demands it.