If Men Bore Children, What Would Their Blogs Be Like?

03 September 2007
A great sports weekend to start off the fall. A no-hitter by a BoSox rookie and a huge college football upset in week 1. I love sports. By the way, Dr. says I’m pregnant – something about 7 weeks along or whatnot. Baby’s supposed to come sometime next year.

08 October 2007: 12 weeks
Man, I have had the worst gas. Talk about clearing out a room. So Dr. says no hunting this season – being around firearms could be harmful to the baby. Also said something about lead in the bullets. Did he ever stop to think about how being a sissy could be harmful to the baby?

05 November 2007: 16 weeks
Gotta love that $1 menu at McDonald’s. I just had a what I call the 4×4x6: 4 double cheeseburgers, 4 apple pies, $6. The kid’s gotta eat.

03 December 2007: 20 weeks
Dr. says he’s pretty sure it’s a girl (how accurate can those things really be?). Wife says I have to stop playing football games into the headphones on my belly.

28 January 2008: 28 weeks
These paternity boxer briefs aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

25 February 2008: 32 weeks
Some random dude came up to me at Home Depot and said, I kid you not, “You look like you’re about ready to pop!” I punched him right in the mouth.

10 March 2008: 34 weeks
Felt like a good cry: Stayed in bed and watched Hoosiers. My back feels like it got run over with a mack truck.

17 March 2008: 35 weeks
Fantasy baseball draft tonight. Hoping the baby somehow gives me extra drafting prowess.

24 March 2008: 36 weeks
My wife insisted on this:

22 April 2008: 40 weeks, 1 day
I just bought a bottle of whiskey and scalpel. If this thing doesn’t come out soon, I’m going in after it.

25 April 2008
Can’t believe we’re almost a month in to baseball season. With Joe Torre at the helm of the Astros this year, I think we can expect some really great things. Oh yeah, the baby came out on its own the other night.